Overly accommodating personality
These efforts often take the form of allegation or blame, even if subtle, and frequently have a repetitive quality.
They can result in a circle of conflict characterized by increasing intensity and distress. Key tasks for development In working with these key aspects of relationship development, do keep applying the steps of the Universal Growth Process [link goes here] as these underlie each of these practices. Take time each day to preview the aspects you are working on and at the end of the day, review how you are doing. What to Acknowledge About Self This is about what each individual needs to take responsibility for that contributes to difficulty and distress in the relationship. What to Appreciate About the Other This section elucidates the positive attributes and qualities each individual needs to acknowledge, appreciate, and support in the other. Key Tasks for Building and Sustaining Relationship Here I provide the key specific recommendations concerning what each individual in the relationship needs to start doing, stop doing, work on, or accept to improve the relationship, enhance satisfaction, and ultimately create a relationship that truly flourishes.
This can lead to estrangement, especially since neither type is good at expressing desires and needs (even though Givers can be on the hedonistic side in the service of others).
As a result, estrangement and deadening can lead to disruption of the relationship.
Performers appreciate Perfectionists’ conscientiousness and devotion to excellence and improvement.The Perfectionist, however, can experience the Giver as being too tied to the relationship and even dependent and unnecessarily helpful.The Perfectionist can receive the Giver’s abundance of good advice as criticism.Understanding and becoming aware of this cycle is a virtual key to resolving conflict constructively and compassionately. Keep in mind that much variation exists within a “typical” pattern based upon the level of personal development, cultural background, gender, the influence of other types, and life experience in general.
There are three fundamental aspects to relationship development, all of great importance. Thus the characteristics and attributes presented for each combination are typical or “classic” for these two types.
The Perfectionist, however, sometimes may become critical of the way the Performer discounts important details, cuts corners, speeds through things with their fast pace, and making changes to suit circumstances.